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Quotes
 I
have never taken myself that seriously as an actor.
It's
funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works
out, because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that
particular movie, so I look forward to it.
You
can think of Hollywood as high school. TV actors are freshmen, comedy
actors are maybe juniors, and dramatic actors - they're the cool
seniors.
It's
funny how it usually works out that I end up dying. It sort of works out,
because by the time I die, I'm usually tired of working on that particular
movie, so I look forward to it. - about how a lot of his characters end up
dying.
Being
in a bathtub with Jackie Chan, I don't know, it has a way of bonding you
I'll tell you that. I don't know if there are some weird undertones. It
was like we had met in Los Angeles and we didn't have that much to say to
each other but, after that bathtub scene, we were great friends. What it
really was was that when we'd play off each other, it really was fun. We
really did become friends. - on the bathtub scene in Shanghai Noon (2000).
The
walk off was the most uncomfortable scene for me to shoot, cos I literally
have never danced in public or really even in private. I'm not a musical
person and we had to dance like Michael Jackson and we had to do
breakdancing... - about the walk off scene in Zoolander (2001).
Sometimes
I stop and think how strange this all is. Something that began as a little
idea in Austin, that Wes and I just walked around talking about between
ourselves, has turned into all this. - on how his career has turned out.
You
can think of Hollywood as high school. TV actors are freshmen, comedy
actors are maybe juniors, and dramatic actors - they're the cool seniors.
I
guess a lot of me in the sense is like Dignan, that's my sense of humor.
The stuff that Dignan is doing is what I would do. When we test-screened
the movie I realized that not everybody laughed where I did.
I
realized there's not a big audience for my type of humor. Dignan doesn't
have self-awareness. Donald Trump has none either. When I read "The
Art of the Deal" I laughed at that because neither of them realize
how funny they are." - about his character Dignan in Bottle Rocket
[Talking
about his relationship with Sheryl Crow and his relationships with women
in general]: Going out with someone who's doing the same thing as you,
who's in the public eye, can be a problem... You want a break when you
come home. You don't want someone with the same issues as you maybe
reminding you of stuff you don't like in yourself. That being said, I
don't think being in the spotlight had anything to do with me and Sheryl
not working out. The story of our relationship is the same story I've had
with most of my relationships. I was lucky enough to find a great girl,
and because of my lack of... focus, the relationship went south.
We
spent so much time together that I can remember us being in our teens and
our dad saying we should try to find some other friends because he thought
we were our own lowest common denominator when we got together. - on his
brothers
Acting
is more fun than writing. Writing is harder, more like having a term
paper.
Yes,
sometimes people get irritated, starting with my brother Luke in BR. He
would get pissed at me, like, 'Why don't you just say the lines that you
wrote?' - on whether or not his improvisational skills bother fellow
actors
Ben,
for example, is kind of a moody guy, and you kind of have to put on the
kid gloves because you never know which Ben is going to show up on set. -
on Ben Stiller
I
can't think of a movie I wish I'd acted in, but there are movies I wish
I'd written.
Not
Shakespeare. In college I took a Shakespeare class because I was an
English major, and they had a Summer program called Shakespeare at
Winedale, which is out in the German Hill country in Texas , where you go
out and live for two months and then you perform three plays at the end of
that time. And people from Austin drive out and see it. I was supposed to
be one of the two gentlemen of Verona . And I got out there and I just
could not stand being out there. There were also so many lines to memorize
that it was just overwhelming for me. So I ended up going home and I got
an F.
A
buddy movie has to have that beat where one buddy doesn't show up. They
hit the same beats as romantic comedies.
At
about the same age as I was interested in petrified wood, I was just
fascinated with this dumb idea that we only used 10 percent of our brains.
I was always thinking, Man, if I could only use 20...
I'm
not going to play a guy with MS or a guy in a wheelchair. I can play a
dramatic character, certainly, but I'm not the real chameleon-type actor
who, you know, changes his voice and everything.
Actually,
to be honest, a shotgun wedding might be the way to go for me. You can't
stay at the party forever. At some point, you have to take stock and ask
yourself, 'What am I doing here?'
To
me, being cool is just the opposite of living. It's about not getting too
worked up about anything, by being 'Nyah, nyah, nyah,' and no big deal. I
can't stand that. It's such a jaded, clichéd posture to take. I get real
enthusiastic about stuff. It's what I think is life-affirming.
I
thought that I'd be married by the time I was 30 and be starting a family,
but it just hasn't worked out that way. I think that there's something
about being in Hollywood. I don't know if I'm shallow, but you want to
make sure that you make the right choice because you know that it's
forever and I didn't realize that I have such a strong scientific side
that demands that I experiment with and compare women.
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