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Quotes
 I
could do with more mobbing, Particularly from women. I'd like to be
treated like Ricky
Martin.
I
just don't believe in love at first sight any more, even though I've
based my whole career on the concept. In my experience, power, money and
influence always attract the opposite sex. It's something that I've
always exploited - with good results.
Basically,
my life is so boring, it's embarrassing.
And
because I rather hate acting, my eyes are seeing something different.
I'm looking for reasons not to do it!
And
film acting is incredibly tedious, just by its nature. It's incredibly,
mind numbingly slow.
And
I particularly like the whole thing of being boss. Boss and employee...
It's the slave quality that I find very alluring.
And
it's also frustrating, particularly in comedy, because you can make the
scene work and get a great laugh in rehearsal. But then you've got to go
and film it. And by the time you've gotten to the location and it's all
set up, I often find that I can't make it as funny as it was in
rehearsal.
Because
you've heard this before - any man will tell you that we don't
necessarily want what we see in Vogue or whatever.
But
a few technicians and a camera I find unbelievably frightening.
But
I just know from experience that accent wise, even if you're an accent
genius, crossing the Atlantic is the hardest thing in the world either
way.
But
I'm not in a hurry to go and sit in big development meetings and make
great, big commercial films. I do have a touch of apathy about that.
But
no, there's no one in particular that I have a real urge to work with.
I
cling to the fantasy that I could have done something more creative.
Like actually writing a script, or writing a book. But the awful truth
is that I... probably can't!
I
don't have any actor friends.
I
don't have any particular burning desire to go back to being cuddly. Not
really.
I
don't think there's much point in putting me a deep, dark, heavy,
emotional film because there are people who do it so much better than I
do.
I
find it hard to understand why Scorsese has never called. You know,
given the natural menace I bring to the screen.
I
get more satisfaction out of comedy stuff.
I
had a huge crush on Olga Korbut, the gymnast. The only other person was
Cliff Richard, which is embarrassing - it means that when I was seven I
had bad taste and was presumably gay.
I
mean, I feel other pressure from the British tabloids, but I don't feel
that particular pressure.
I
think I'm happier like that, but basically living in England. I don't
know why, it just seems to be where I fit. But it's very good being
here, the whole American Influence is excellent.
I
think in a way there is an upside to me being very difficult, and the
thing I'm really difficult about is the script. I won't do it unless I
think the script has got there, or at the very least, that my part has
got there.
I
think maybe in a way it gets worse because you come in with a real
reputation and they've paid you lots of money and all that.
I
think that's the whole point of Bridget Jones. It's all about that it's
okay to fail.
I
was best man to my brother, and I am quite proud of the speech I made;
it did turn out to be quite funny.
I
was thinking on the plane yesterday how pathetic it is to be dreading
the read-through after 25 films and 18 years of acting. I mean real
terror.
I'd
never done a film with a child in a leading role before, so I was very
keen that we got it right and was very interfering in terms of casting.
I'm
a laugh tart. I make no secret of that fact.
I'm
not an expert. But Elizabeth has become an expert on that. Somebody gave
her a book on co-dependency, and she says we fall into every single
category!
I'm
not quite as extreme a case as Will is but certainly I have spent a lot
of time in my life sitting around in the afternoon watching Countdown,
being a bit lazy, and being shallow in terms of life goals and
relationships.
I'm
sure I've said to you a billion times that I keep thinking I'm about to
write a brilliant script.
It's
not exactly that I hate acting.
Most
actors really love it, that's what they want to do. They burn to do it.
And so they'll read a script and think, that's an interesting part. And
because they love acting, that blinds them to the fact that the rest of
it is pretentious nonsense, which it very often is.
My
father was in carpets for years. He didn't really love carpets, but he
became pretty good at... flogging them!
My
theory is there is great comedy writing in America, but it has migrated
over to television in the last ten or 20 years; that's why they've got
such successful TV shows.
Neither
Elizabeth or I are keen to do a real-life couple on the screen. It's not
very electric.
Nevertheless
it opened a door to acting and I didn't know what else to do with my
life so I thought I'd that for a year and then it's a laugh that's gone
on for 18 years.
No,
I wasn't happy as a teenager at all, especially with my hair.
Plus,
teaching brings home to you very fast that you actually know nothing. I
didn't realize that before.
Strangely
enough I'm better on a stage. I love that I feel like I blossom in front
of a whole bunch of people.
The
first time I open my mouth in the read through. You sit there, palms
sweating and turning the pages, thinking and whatever I say on the first
few pages comes out in this horrible kind of barked monotone.
The
moral of filmmaking in Britain is that you will be screwed by the
weather.
The
only reason my work seems to be eclectic up to a certain period is
because I was a failure as an actor.
The
reason I turn down 99% of a hundred, I mean a thousand, scripts is
because romantic comedies are often very romantic but seldom very funny.
The
truth is, I'd never seen a Cary Grant film. Since then I have watched
his stuff and it's astounding, but I don't see any similarity between
us. Except for the fact that I'm told he used to wear ladies' underwear,
which is something I also do.
Well,
I haven't done very much for about three years.
Well,
yeah. I mean, I'm sick to death of Mister Nice Guy, I've done way too
much of it recently.
Well,
you know I have an office, my film offices. So I know that syndrome. I
fancy offices, so there must be something wrong with me. Even the window
cleaner intrigues me. It's a very sexy environment.
When
I think about actors I know, I'd much rather hear about who they're
shagging than what film they're doing next.
With
2 movies opening this summer, I have no relaxing time at all. Whatever I
have is spent in a drunken stupor.
You
know everyone loves to be the villain.
I
do, kind of, want to ram their microphones down their patronising
throats.
I
don't particularly like babies. I don't mind them for about four
minutes. That's my max. After that I can't quite see what everyone's
fussing about.
I
watch an awful lot of women's sport recently. I don't know what that
means about me. I watch the women's golf. I watch the women's tennis
very much.
I've
got four houses in my street. I live in two and the others are empty.
I'll buy more as they come up, because I think it would be great to have
the entire street.
Women
are frightening. If you get to 41 as a man, you're quite battle-scarred.
Very
big-mouthed! Literally, physically, she has a very big mouth. It is a
very big mouth. When I was kissing her I was aware of a faint echo.
It
was the same approach as the first one, which was just to make sure that
it was as crap as we wanted it to be. The key is to stop the stunt
coordinator from coming in to make it look like a film fight. We just
wanted it to be two pathetic Englishmen scared of each other, throwing
their handbags at each other basically.
I
think film acting's just a miserable experience. It's so long and so
boring and so difficult to get right so that what you need above all is
incredible willpower and strength of mind.
Now,
I quite like it. For years I sat in these interviews and everyone said,
You're always Mister Nice Guy, why don't you ever play someone nasty? So
in fact it's been a relief to be...for the real me to come out more on
camera. I don't have any particular burning desire to go back to being
cuddly. Not really.
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