Quotes

I hate the whole reluctant sex-symbol thing. It's such bull. You see these dudes greased up, in their underwear, talking about how they don't want to be a sex symbol.

I kinda see my current position like this: 'Here's your five minutes in the toy store, so you gotta do all the good movies you can before Chuck Woolery rings the bell.'

I remember back when I was a kid there was a comic strip called Plastic Man. His body was elastic and he could make his extremeties as long as he wanted. As a youngster I didn't fully appreciate. But I'm now thinking Plastic Man was probably pretty popular with the ladies.

I'm always described as 'cocksure' or 'with a swagger,' and that bears no resemblance to who I feel like inside. I feel plagued by insecurity.

I'm not known for having great relationships with ex-girlfriends, but I've been able to continue one with Gwyneth that's really valuable.

I'm not the type of guy who enjoys one-night stands. It leaves me feeling very empty and cynical. It's not even fun sexually. I need to feel something for the woman and entertain the vain hope that it may lead to a relationship.

If I ever woke up with a dead hooker in my hotel room, Matt would be the first person I'd call.

Kevin is my homosexual crush. If I were gay, the first guy I would sleep with is Kevin Smith. The second one would be Leo DiCaprio - but only for the long hair he had in The Man in the Iron Mask.

Marriage hasn't been my thing. But gay people, knock yourselves out!

Matt and I have set a date. Matt and I will tie the knot New Years Day in the town of Swampscott, Massachusetts. Reserve your hotel rooms now. I will be having a gay marriage.

Matt's so metro. He wears perfume a lot of the time. He won't go out without three different moisturisers that he has to put on.

My mother gets all mad at me if I stay in a hotel. I'm 31-years-old, and I don't want to sleep on a sleeping bag down in the basement. It's humiliating.

Rumors about me? Calista Flockhart, Pam Anderson, and Matt Damon. That's who I'm dating.

Sometimes it's Britney Spears and sometimes it's Carrie Fisher. I can't tell if I've got a Lolita complex or an Oedipus complex.

There is nothing worse that a thirteen-year-old boy. You're embarrassed by your parents, and you're trying to find your independance because, deep inside, you are so dependent on your mom.

There's something really great and romantic about being poor and sleeping on couches.

Well I've never used that phrase before, but yes she is bootylicious.

Yes, I'm going to be the President of the United States. You know why? You think you can get chicks by being in the movies? You can really get chicks by being the President.

You [Maria Shriver] are so wonderful. You are so beautiful. I have wanted to meet you for the longest time. I'm hitting on you because you're husband is on the other side of the room.

On the celebrity women the tabloids falsely link him to: Sometimes it's Britney Spears, and sometimes it's Carrie Fisher. I can't tell if I have a Lolita Complex or an Oedipus Complex.

I feel like fame is wasted on me.

On tabloid coverage of his life - It feels like being in a soap opera that you were unwittingly cast in and you have no choice about it. I get to watch my life like everyone else and think 'I can't believe they did that'. And, for whatever reason, you become less special for movie audiences. It cheapens the brand if you want to look at it in a really crass sense. But I figure it has to go away at some point. Eventually someone will come along and have a sex tape or someone will play grab-ass with some kids and I'll be off page one.

[interviewed again at the Democratic National Convention: Ben, this is David Gergen. I think a lot of us are blown away here by your vocabulary. Without being pedantic or scatological, you sure do elucidate pretty well.] Well, David, I think I benefit from the same thing that helped George W. Bush in the [2000] debates, which is tremendously low expectations.

[when asked why George W. Bush, after hearing that New York was under attack on Sept 11, remained in a Florida classroom, doing nothing, for several minutes:] It's obviously very disturbing footage. On the one hand, you see a reaction on a man's face that he is clearly pained and shocked. I probably did the same thing sitting on my chair. I was completely freaked out and a little devastated. On the other hand, one does hope that in one's leaders, that they have the instinct to spring into action, to take some action or make the appearance of taking some action. And I was disappointed to see that he didn't do that, although I don't entirely hold it against him because, frankly, I was as shocked and devastated as he was. Although I think flying around in Air Force One for 11 hours before coming back and landing in the White House was probably less forgivable.

When I got to LA, my family had me go to dinner with this guy who had been acting here for 20 years. He gave me this big lecture and said, "You know how much money I made in 20 years of acting? Eight thousand dollars. And I'm a carpenter." He was just really unhappy and it was depressing. Then he got really stoned and I went home and felt sick. I think it was just morbid fear. I was 18. That fear stays with you so intensely and you're constantly just getting turned down for what you think of as the most vapid, stupid kind of paycheck, Baywatch things, and you think, Jesus, if I'm not good enough for this then I'm not going to make it. This town is too hard, and people were always telling me, "You're too big, you're too tall, you can only play bullies and you will never be a leading man.

I lived all over the place. I lived in Hollywood, then I moved. Matt (Damon) and I got money from School Ties (1992), and we blew it all in a couple of months. We made $35,000 or $40,000 each and thought we were rich. And we were shocked later on to find out how much we owed in taxes. We were appalled: $15,000! What? But we rented this house on the beach in Venice and 800 people came and stayed with us and got drunk. Then we ran out of money and had to get an apartment. It was like everything was exciting. So we lived in Glendale and Eagle Rock and we lived in Hollywood, West Hollywood, Venice, by the Hollywood Bowl, all over the place. We'd get thrown out of some places or we'd have to upgrade or downgrade depending on who had money. - On his living situation as a struggling actor.

It's like Christmas: it's all advertising, and the first rule of selling somebody something is to make them seem inadequate. Make them feel like they need it. Like fabric softener. Nobody really needs fabric softener and yet, all of a sudden, you feel like a jackass if you don't have fabric softener, so people buy it. And that's how Christmas has become, because 50 per cent of all retail sales happen in December. You are bombarded with this stuff - money will make you happy, and keeping up with the Joneses. Obviously that stuff doesn't make you happy, otherwise there wouldn't be all these unhappy rich people. They'd all be happy in their jacuzzis and OK, some of them are.

God help me if I ever do another movie with an explosion in it. If you see me in a movie where stuff is exploding you'll know I've lost all my money.

Sure, I suffered a lot. But it's not like the end of the world and it's not who I am. I lead quite a pleasant life and I'm able to divorce a perceived reality from my actual experience of life.

I have definitely noticed that I care less about certain things. Other actors are like: 'You can't do that', or 'You can't do this. This will position you in the wrong way.' That's not my thing. And obviously so, because you can see I don't craft or cultivate my career. [on his career path and choice of movies]

I've finally learnt how to say: 'No comment'. To appear in the tabloids is a real learning curve and a steep one at that. You had better learn quick or you get burnt.

About the New York Yankees' principal owner: You know George M. Steinbrenner III is the center of all evil in the universe.

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